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December 2005
If the people who bet on football were as brain dead as some of the people who coach it, they'd never win a game.
Take Minnesota Head Coach Glen Mason, the latest, but surely not the last example of a man without a plan. Leading Wisconsin 34-31 with 43 seconds remaining in an Oct. 15 game, the Gophers were forced to punt from deep in their own territory. Punter Justin Kucek fumbled the pass from center, recovered and tried to kick anyway. The boot was blocked and the Badgers recovered in the end zone for the winning score. Shouldn't Kucek, a red-shirt freshman, have been instructed to take a safety if he couldn't field the ball cleanly?
Then there's the case of Marshall Head Coach Mark Snyder. Trailing Kansas State 21-19 with nine seconds remaining and the ball on the KSU 12-yard line in Sept. 10 game, incredibly, Snyder decided to get a little closer before bringing in his field goal kicker. Quarterback Jimmy Skinner's pass was intercepted and, having turned the Thundering Herd into the Blundering Absurd, Snyder was assured his place in the Coach's Hall of Shame.
Remember Bobby Ross deciding to go for two after the Lions scored a touchdown to pull within 23-19 of the Cardinals on Nov. 14, 1999? The two-point conversion failed and later, in the waning moments of the game when Detroit was threatening deep in Arizona territory, the option of a tying field goal no longer was viable.
Interestingly, the Ross blunder pales in comparison to the coaching "strategy" employed in a 1994 Michigan State-Notre Dame game. Leading 21-20 and in possession of the football deep in Spartan territory in the final 90 seconds, the Fighting Irish needed only to run out the clock to preserve the victory. Michigan State had spent its three times out and could not stop the clock. The smart thing to do was for the Notre Dame quarterback to take a knee. Instead, Notre Dame Coach Lou Holtz was sending in plays that had backs running into the line.
Besides a possible fumble, what was wrong with this strategy?
Scoring a touchdown was the only way Notre Dame could lose the football game! If the Irish score and kick the extra point, they go up by eight. If they miss the PAT, they're up by seven points. Either way, Michigan State gets the ball back with a chance to tie or win the game. (College football games could still end in a tie in 1994).
But Holtz wasn't the only coach who played it wrong. Michigan State Head Coach George Perles should have ordered his troops to let Notre Dame score. It's the only way he gets the ball back with a chance to win or tie.
But that would have been too enlightened for the dim-witted Perles, who already had demonstrated a lack of any strategic understanding on the previous series. Faced with fourth and about 20 inside his own 10-yard line with a little more than two minutes remaining, Perles elected to punt. It was a stupid move. The Spartans should have taken a safety, making the score 23-20. Then they could try an onsides kick, a maneuver with about a 20 to 25 percent chance of success. If they recover, they only need a field goal for a tie. But the way Perles played it, he had to lose the game to any coach with the good sense to run out the clock with three kneel-downs.
Those hardly are isolated incidents of coaching ineptitude. Remember the Sunday night game when Atlanta Coach June Jones chose first and goal from the five rather than second and goal from the one? Amazing.
The point is that many coaches possess little of the tactical and strategic knowledge that bettors rely on every day. Football, like gambling, is trying to get the best of it, understanding the percentages and putting your team in a position to win. If you don't know how to play the game, how can you be successful at it?
So, in addition to every team having a strength coach, a spiritual advisor, a press agent, a financial consultant and a bail bondsman, shouldn't coaches also employ a tactical advisor? Instead of relying on a chart, they could hire a professional gambler to tell them when to go for one or two points after a touchdown. You know those difficult situations when it's fourth and one at the 35 and you can go for the first down, try a 52-yard field goal or punt? A professional bettor would be able to tell you the percentages and the likelihood for success of each option.
Regardless of on which side of the counter you stand, it has to be frustrating to lose a bet because some mental midget on the sidelines made the wrong decision.
Get these guys some help.
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